My Gentler Cesarean Birth Story

I want to preface this blog with a request to everyone to set aside your judgments about what labor & delivery "should" look like & instead to embrace every woman's story as her own miracle of birth. By sharing our story, I hope to open women to the idea that you can be an active participant - regardless of the HOW, this is not something that happens to you. You have some choices. Thru some small adjustments, we were able to have a beautiful birth with our second child. This process has sparked conversation, interest & a desire to make changes amongst our practice of midwives & doctors as well as at the hospital where we delivered.

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When I learned I was pregnant the first time, I started conjuring images of exactly how the birth would play out. If it's possible, it went exactly the opposite & I learned that a birth plan is a sure-fire way to ensure that nothing will go as planned! Seldom does life  (& it's miracles) follow a plan. When we were blessed to conceive again, I wondered if I dared to hope for the natural drug-free birth I had wanted the first time? I knew I desperately wanted to avoid the emergency cesarean I did have & started to think about factors I might be able to affect. The pregnancy progressed normally & my hopes cautiously soared. But, at 29 weeks, we learned that my amniotic fluid was already getting low. I started bed rest & drinking a gallon of water a day. That also marked the start of weekly (& bi-weekly) ultrasounds, visits with the midwives & a roller coaster of emotions each week as we wondered if TODAY the baby would need to arrive. If the levels went up or remained stable I held on to hope of a natural birth. When they dropped, I tried to accept that a second cesarean might be necessary. After 10 long weeks, I agreed to schedule a cesarean as it was not likely that the baby would tolerate labor well with such little fluid. Leading up to this decision, I started reading, googling & discussing possible options for a different kind of cesarean. Here are the things I wanted to have happen:

1. Music in the O.R. - I wanted my delivery playlist to fill the room with meaningful & comforting songs
2. Dim(mer) lighting - I didn't know if it was possible, but I wanted to minimize the bright sterile lights of the O.R.
3. I wanted my husband & myself to "discover" the gender of the baby together.
4. Skin to skin contact - as soon as possible!

At the pre-op appointment, I planned to bring this up to my mid-wife. Ironically, she came in ready to show me the same video I had seen of a cesarean birth in England that incorporated some of these ideas. She was enthusiastic about implementing these key points & promised to work ahead of time on the lighting & music & getting the rest of the doctors on board.

When we arrived early Monday morning, our "pre-op" room was cozy & dimly lit. Prior to the birth, I relaxed to my delivery playlist & enjoyed a lavender oil foot massage from my husband while reclining in a chair. (I wanted to stay out of the bed). The mood of the nurses was calm & positive. When the time came, I walked on my own to the O.R. My midwife had set up my music, turned on only the lights above the table & gotten all of the team to agree to try this "new" idea. While the anesthesiologist administered the spinal, I leaned on my midwife & focused on the music playing. Shortly after, my husband came in & started to rub my temples with the lavender oil. I was much calmer than the first time around. The ambiance of the room and the team was soothing & exciting at the same time. Things progressed quickly & at the moment of birth, someone lowered the curtain & we discovered the gender of our baby for the first time. Seconds later, he was lying on my bare chest.When I was ready, they took him aside to clean up & weigh him. Not long after, we all returned to our original room for recovery, his bath & breast feeding.

 *skin to skin seconds after his birth*

I don't want to sugar coat a cesarean. It is still a major surgery. Even though it was my second time, I was incredibly nervous. But these few simple changes and a team who was willing to try something different made a huge difference. I had some choices and actively participated in the birth of our son. Whether you have to have a cesarean for medical reasons, or personal choice, I hope that by sharing my story, you can find a way to make your birth story your own.

Acknowledgements:

Brandy Ferner

www.mothernurturedenver.com

Brandy's Birth Story Medicine workshop started me on this journey of accepting my previous birth & opening my mind to other possibilities.

Westside Women's Care - Midwives

https://www.facebook.com/WestsideWomensCare?sk=wall
The midwives at Westside are wonderfully supportive. I highly recommend this practice, it's doctors and entire staff.

Exempla Lutheran Medical Center

www.facebook.com/babieslikelutheran

I appreciate the interest Lutheran has given in publicizing our story in an effort to promote change & choices for other women.